The Journey to Publication, Writing

Doubt, Fear, And Dark Days

I am tired. Tired of winter and long dark days, outside and in. Tired of waiting for good news, and receiving rejections. Tired of trying to believe in possibilities and forcing optimism.

And of course, when you’re tired, it leaves the door wide open for those buggers doubt and fear. It lets them sneak up on you and seep like grease stains into all aspects of your life. One rejection becomes a rejection from the world. Which is ridiculous, the logical part of my brain knows, and yet it’s the reptilian part, all that doubt and fear taking control, that whispers bad things.

It would be easy, ever so easy to just step away. To say I’m “taking a break” and slowly, without quite realizing it, just stop writing. It would start with one skipped day – you know, the kind you can “catch up on.” Then it would be another, because you need to be kind to yourself. And then a week or two missed. And then a month. And suddenly, you’d find you hadn’t been writing anymore. That it had all dried up.

And so, on days like that, on days like THIS, it is even more important to sit down in front of that computer, to put the fingers to the keyboard and ignore all those nasty whispers, and just write. Write if you are tired, write BECAUSE you are tired. But just keep writing, words in the dark, words to yourself, words to prove those whispers and the reptilian brain wrong.

Thanks for reading, and hope you’re having a brighter week with melting snow and hopes of spring. 🙂

The Journey to Publication, Writing

Zombie Books and On Staying Stubborn

Keep clinging to the edge of the cliff - you are NOT going to fall. (Source: my photo)
Keep clinging to the edge of the cliff – you are NOT going to fall. (Source: my photo)

I am a stubborn individual. Actually, mule-headed, and too damned ornery to ever quit may be more accurate assessments. This is part of why I can’t give up.

I have been in rewrites on the zombie book – that is, the WIP that refuses to die, but isn’t actually healthy, alive and kicking (ie: working out like it’s supposed to). As I dive into yet another round of revisions, I find still more errors in the book that still seem to stick around. It makes me wonder if I can write at all, if I’m just kidding myself.

This is called self-doubt. If you’re a creative sort, I’m sure you’ve met it before.

Nasty fellow. And as soon as you let him start leading you, you’re not heading anywhere good, trust me.

And sometimes, when you’re stuck with a zombie book – a book that refuses to straighten out, and yet it still holds some allure to you, some promise that it could be good – then what you have to be is stubborn. Mule-headed, I-will-work-with-a-patch-over-one-eye-and-a-broken-hand stubborn.

So, here it is. My five ways to keep writing even when things look like crap (how you feel, the WIP, you name it):

  1. Get your butt in that chair, turn on the computer, and start writing. Yes, it will suck. Yes, many of the words will suck. But they will get better.
  2. Stop looking up the mountain at how far you have to come. Looking up and dreading it will not make you feel better. Instead, look straight ahead at the step you’re taking now. Keep at it. Keep moving forward, and you’ll make it up the mountain of whatever workload awaits you.
  3. Take note of what that whiny voice of self-doubt is saying – anything useful in there? Then tell it to shut up and let you get back to work.
  4. Give your fear, your self-doubt to your characters. Let them wrestle with it. And as you do, note how good your writing looks, how sincere. 🙂
  5. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break. You are not perfect. Every word you write will not be perfect either. That’s what revisions are for. And remember that this is the bottom of the hill in the creative journey. Things will get better. You will feel better – so long as you hang in there long enough to ride the roller-coaster back up to the top. Treat yourself kindly, but don’t give in to self-pity. Keep at it. Keep fighting.

Okay, so now I’m about to head off to battle the WIP. Today: assessment of the chapter notes and see what lives and what dies, and if any of the structure is right at all.

But first, what about you: how do you conquer self-doubt? How do you keep fighting through when things get tough?

Thanks for reading, and I hope you gave a great week. Oh, and hey! Like the post? Why not follow the blog. 🙂