Resolve to Give Yourself a Break

We’ve made it to the third week of January – hooray! I say this since my feelings for January are still, let’s say, “mixed.” But I’ve been feeling a lot better since I decided on three things:

  1. To focus on the creativity and the process rather than the end product (at least during the actual creation of said product.)
  2. To make sure I’m having some fun, whatever I’m doing.
  3. To give myself a break, and let some of the “shoulds” slip.

Here’s the thing: by the end of the year last year, I was contorted and twisted with stress over all the things perhaps I should have done, the way I should have done them, what I should do next, what should I write, what was the best path I should take, etc.

Sense a pattern?

Should is all well and good, and indeed, there are lots of things we should do, all the time. But it’s also highly subjective, and so often we guilt ourselves into misery thinking of all the the “shoulds” and not simply focusing on what we WILL do, what we HAVE done, what we NEED to do, and sometimes, ironically either neglected at the bottom of the list or given too much priority, we think of what we WANT to do.

For myself, I decided that rather than “should” I would focus on want. Indeed, the paranormal romance market is down, which doesn’t make sale of my books easier. But when I considered what I wanted to read, and moreover, the stories I wanted to write? They’re paranormal. It’s where I enjoy myself and can play. And when I let myself decide that’s what I’d do, despite it perhaps not being what I “should” do, I felt a lot better. When I let myself take a break and relax, creativity opened up again, and the writing was better.

Which comes back to the title of this post: if there’s anything I might advise someone to resolve to improve in 2015, it’s to take care of yourself, and in all the ways that matters. By all means, join a gym and get into better shape – exercise can also help mentally and emotionally. But also remember not to be as hard on yourself. To paraphrase an old song: reach for the moon, but don’t ever be ashamed if instead you only end up with the stars. 🙂

So now to you: are you trapped by “shoulds” and other imagined pressures? How do you resolve to take better care of yourself?

Happy writing to you all, and thanks for stopping by. Have a great week. 🙂

Goals Check-in: Never Surrender!

BC2010 Holiday Aug4_10 067So, I’m not great with math, but even I know that seeing as February is coming to a close, we’re about 1/6 of the way through 2013. Which leads to my check-in. How are the goals coming along?

You did set some goals right?  Have you taken a look at them since you last wrote them down?

Here’s the thing: making goals is excellent. KEEPING and ACHIEVING goals is much better.  So come on, go find those goals you set and take a look. Don’t worry, I’ll wait ….


Okay. Back yet?

It shouldn’t have been too difficult for you to find those goals. Ideally, they should be somewhere you can see them regularly. Well, how have you been doing so far? Not so hot? Do you feel like you’ve fallen off the wagon? Have you already resolved to stick to goals next year … or maybe when it’s easier? Or maybe, like me, some goals you’ve been doing well on, while others have languished.

Here’s the thing: it’s a new month. Tomorrow is a new day. You can start over whenever you feel like.


“Stumbling is not falling.” – Portuguese Proverb




So. 1/6 through the year. Look over your goals. Is that still the direction you want to head? By all means, abandon those which really don’t work – but don’t do it hastily. Instead, give it another try. Stick to it. You can do it – I know you will. And then, when you’ve accomplished these, you get to make NEW goals next year, and wouldn’t that be nice instead of the same ones over and over?


How do you stick to your goals? Or conversely, what makes you slip-up?


Good luck. Good for you to keep trying. And thanks for reading.